Fear, Dressed as Principle

There’s a book coming out June 16. Om La La: The Power of Positivity. I’m Chapter 5: The Body Knows the Way Home. I almost wasn’t in it at all.

My mind told me this was on principle. The “Power of Positivity” framing sits uneasily with me. I don’t think in positive or negative, I think in clear or unclear. Judgement clouds the view; less of it means you see more of what’s actually there. That’s not just my opinion; it’s the foundation of the tantric practice I’ve spent over a decade studying and sharing. A real tantric guide doesn’t hand you a map. You’re the map.

But when I sat with my refusal long enough, it was my body doing all the talking. Fear. The kind that hides behind principled objection and hopes you won’t look too closely. Sure, I can dress it up. It’s the fear of performing rather than sharing, the fear of going on about me, when it’s about you. But the real fear was mirroring the trope of a fat, privileged, middle-aged white man fumbling through personal tragedy and calling it wisdom.

Did anyone need to know any of this?

Maybe not. But it’s dishonesty by omission to share some “life lesson” if you don’t say something about the life lived. It’s not that my story is particularly interesting, though I do have a flair for the Bollywood dramatic, but we learn in the gutter so don’t speak from the clouds. With so many self-styled gurus and spiritual advisors, with their 10-point plans and steps to a new you, it’s all just a cacophony of voices drowning out the only one worth listening to — your own.

And that’s why I started Realistiq Mystiq. I still fumble. I’m still authentically lost and overwhelmed on a regular basis. That’s not a disclaimer, that’s the whole point. The chapter isn’t written from the other side of anything. I needed a life structure that allowed me to participate in my own life, rather than criticize from the sidelines, and to build a community based on a shared reality, not about validating social performance. Whenever I tried to work within someone else’s perspective or priorities, I encountered a hierarchy that valued polite masks more than gritty reality. And when I tried to mold myself to other people’s expectations, I gloriously flamed out and failed.

One thing I know, most people don’t have the opportunity to move to India, burrow into increasingly deeper esoteric rabbit holes, and reverse engineer their lives based on some hoped-for epiphany. But getting high off social media likes, reel views, and the occasional pat on the back keeps you locked in someone else’s story.

You don’t need keys for doors that were never locked. I’m not a guru or a spiritual gatekeeper. But a compass can help you navigate a pathless path. I know how to build a compass, and I can show you how to calibrate it.

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably one of the people I wrote it for. Hey there … How you doin?

If you think you’re overwhelmed or authentically lost, you’re in good company. The body knows the way, it’s the mind that wanders. Start there. And if you need a little help with that, check out the book.